Glorify MO in the Dance- Get your Scarf on B*tch

Glorify MO in the Dance: Get your Scarf on B*tch!

Dad: Ahh! It’s my favorite day of the week. Dancing Tuesdays! Oh glory! Are you girls ready? Do you have your scarves? I’m going to teach you all how to dance, hallelujah for heaven!

Maria: Yes! We all brought an assortment of coloured scarves just for the occasion!

Dad: Well me oh my! I think, well I just thought wait, it’s just after dinner. Is it possible we could all die from indigestion? But the Lord said to go ahead, ha! I think he wants to see you girls naked, and dancing to glorify me.

Sara: Amen we can’t wait Dad.

Dad: Sara are the kids here? Where are they? Are they here Sara? They need to learn the same techniques. They need to be skilled in seductive heavenly dancing. Sara are they here, where are they?

Sara: There coming Dad, Dora is fixing their tropical outfits upstairs so they’ll be ready for you. Dancing for us big teens, and the little teens too! Ha.

Dad: Oh my Sara! To think you would be so slack and so inconsiderate as to not have when ready by the minute I had specifically ordered. Golly! Now I’ll have to wait for them to get ready and come downstairs, and I’m thinking well I told Sara the time they needed to be ready for me, and the least she could’ve done is had them ready on time.

Maria: Oh my! Bad Sara.

Sara: Lord forgive me and my slackness!

Dad: Well as punishment Sara you will dance for me privately after! Ha. Alf you don’t mind right? Alf doesn’t mind, hell, Maria doesn’t mind either right? Alf I’m stealing your wife tonight, ha!

Sara: Ooh I can’t wait Dad; I’ll gladly serve my punishment!

Alf: Actually Dad I do mi…

Dad: (cuts him off quickly) Aha! Look here’s Dora with the girls. Praise God! Let’s get started girls! Why, if by the end of tonight I haven’t taught you all to dance seductively I’ll resign from my post and throw away this crown. Hell if I can’t teach you how to dance for me I’m not fit to be king.

Fam: Oh my!

Dad: Dora you’re my guinea pig! You’ll help me show these amateurs how to dance.
Dora: I used to dance professionally in clubs!

Maria: Now, now Dora how dare you be so damn proud! Jesus gave you dancing skills, it has nothing to do with your time in the clubs.

Dora: What now?

Maria: Don’t take praise for what the Master hast given you!

Fam: Uhhh….

Dora: (totally confused) I’m so sorry my Queen, I shall from henceforth be humble!

Dad: O-kay then! Come hither Dora. Now everyone follow Dora. First you carefully remove all articles of clothing. That’s it atta girl! (Dad takes off Dora’s clothes and the rest of the “Fam” girls follow suit) Now, carefully place a coloured scarf around your waist, and then another around your bosoms, your breasts, the chest area, your tits. So many names for such an important part of the body.

Fam: HA!

Dad: Then you tie a scarf around each ankle, and the last one carefully around your head, somewhat like wearing a turban. (Finishes putting the scarves on Dora and Fam girls finish putting on their “scarf-wear” as well) Aha! Who would’ve thought? Who would’ve known? This is what every dancer is meant to wear. Oh who would’ve known?

Fam: Wow Dad you sure did! All our girls look like a breath of heaven!

Dad: Where’s Alf? Is he here? Where is he?

Alf: I’m right here!

Dad: Ah our labourer, our handyman. Alf oh Alf. Would-ist thou humble yourself and be the cameraman for this sacred event? Would, oh would you please film this heavenly ritual? Oh Alf!

Alf: Whatever you say sir!

(Alf sets up cameras)

Dad: Oh my, you all look so beautiful and right heavenly I hope I can contain my joy, the little man inside! Ha!

Fam: (winks at Dad’s …)

Dad: Now simply twirl around girls, move your hips from side to side. Gyrate, pulsate with God’s energy. Sexual Jesus energy, hallelujah!

(Girls begin “gyrating” all over the room as Alf films)

Dad: Oh my look at Techi and Davida go! Oh my, oh boy! Golly goodness that is so heavenly. Mmmm!

Misty: (Currently too sick to dance) I agree I LOVE watching the girls dance!

Dad: Amen! Ah! Look at Maria! Just look!

Misty: Mmmmm! Mama is SO gorgeous!

Dad: Oh my! Oh no! ALF! ALF! OH! OH! Stop the filming, stop the filming. Oh my, oh no! One of Davida’s scarves has fallen off. Come here Davida; let me readjust that for you.

Davida: But Grandpa, my scarf didn’t fall off!

Sara: Don’t contradict Grandpa hunny!

Fam: Oh no what a rebellious child!

Dad: Come here NOW Davida, before I loose my patience. Your pelvic scarf needs to be adjusted!

(Dad “adjusts” Davida’s scarf)

Dad: ALF! ALF! Where are you? ALF!

Alf: I’m right here!

Dad: Ha! For a minute I didn’t see you hiding behind the camera! We may commence filming Alf, man the camera!

(Filming continues as Dad and Misty openly gawk at the “heavenly dancers”)

A good few hours later…

Dad: Oh my it’s 9:00pm! It’s damn well past everyone’s bedtime. Well that was fun wasn’t it? Heck I sure enjoyed it!

Fam: Yes Dad that was so much fun!

Dad: So did you all learn how to dance? Did I teach you good? Aren’t I a good teacher folks?

Fam: the best!

Dad: Well scarves away and off to bed! And Sara your coming upstairs with me, keep your scarves on hunny! Ah praise be to God, will have to do this again sometime soon. Are you dancing? Do you know how to dance? I can teach you. Dance is one of the greatest forms of movement other than sex. If you can’t dance get the hell out of my home and this family! God created dancing so women could please their husbands. So get dancing or get out! Are you glorifying God in the Dance?