Mo's Random Rabbles On Mexician Prostitution Rings and the Fatalities of Eating Seafood

Sara Queen of Childcare: After dinner and dishes were done, we all sat down on the fresh-from-the-neighbor's-garbage couch set that PTL dear James had stumbled across on his afternoon walk and lugged back to the home. Mo seemed very livid, even though that was not an unusual occurrence we all became very somber, and whipped out our dictaphones, preparing for another rousing drunken ramble from our beloved King.

Mo: Oh my ! Well today i nearly flipped out! I was talking to little Pablito who lives across the street about the near well world-war 3 that Che Guevara and his band of drugged out child soldiers are starting. I said , Pablito, why can't the Mexicans live in peace? Che Guevara is practically the Fidel Castro of Mexico. Che Guevara is the devil's incarnate. Mexicans are already on their way to hell and he is only making their cup of iniquities fuller! I was trying to get a really strong witness across to Pablito while at the same time keeping my package underwrap because my damn bathrobe kept on revealing it every time I so much as uncrossed my legs.

Fam: Ha!

Maria: I think the problems in Mexico started with the prostitution rings. The Americans were secretly starting white slave trade over here, and bootlegging, and in return they allowed the Mexicans to control their own country.

Fam: Um Mama I don't think that's quite right...

Maria: (Completely befuddled) Dad?

Mo: Oh golly the Mexican prostitution rings! It's like Jesus just spoke right through you honey. I tried so hard to explain my side and my views to Pablito but he wouldn't listen. But now I get it! Those sickening Americans smuggling little white girls here over the border and putting them in the Mexican prostitution rings. I damn well can't even walk through our own neighborhood without some little Mexican hooker offering me sex for pay. Hell, those Mexican hookers will take whatever they can get for having sex. Whether it be food, or cooking utensils, even just a warm place to stay. These Mexicans are so damn poor! I asked myself why? And again, the Lord whispered strongly in my ear, "It is because of Che Guevara".

Fam: (Mumbling) I think someone should take the bottle away from Dad now...

Mo: THE HELL! My oh my I damn well dare you to try and force this bottle out of my hand, I just dare you! I'll explode, why I think I'd nigh well have a heart attack if you tried such an insolent move. DO YOU WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY DEATH?

Fam: (Puzzled and Trembling) Sorry Dad, we beg of your forgiveness for daring to suggest something so ignorant...

Mo: Well There you go! My, my stomach is growling! It reminds me of the time my parents damn forced me to eat seafood, lobster was practically created by the Devil himself. Why, I feel I could almost shit myself right now! I'm thinking, oh, well oh well, my oh my should I request that one of you folks, well to be specific Alf fetch me a diaper? I feel I can't control myself from self-shitting. I think I have food-poisoning.

Maria: Maybe It's another attack of the evil Sphinx? That demon of the East is trying to kill you with a stomach bug!

Mo: Of course it's the Sphinx! Why its as if that demon has a personal vendetta against me! He practically wants to kill me and won't rest until he does!

Fam: Oh my golly!

Mo: Which brings me back to seafood. Did you know that Lobsters feed off the ocean's shit? The same goes for crabs, shrimp, squid, the whole lot of the bunch. They're not safe to eat. They're the ocean's garbagemen. They swim around literally feasting off any shit they can get there hands on. And then the little Chinese restaurants have the nerve to make delicacies out of them in their podunk kitchens, and serve them to the population. Its a wonder the Chinese haven't practically wiped off the world with their restaurants of death!

Alf: I used to eat seafood quite a bit in my travels in China and Japan and I don't remember ever getting sick...

Mo: Alf, Alf, I'm gonna sit here and pretend I didn't just hear what you said. Oh boy I'm just going to play pretend right now and pretend I didn't hear you contradict me and practically insinuate that I'm a liar in front of the whole Family. I'm going to pretend, so you better just sit there and be quiet now Alf or I swear I'm going to have a FIT!

Alf: Yes sir!

Mo: Why I'm thinking Gem's hands must've slipped and thrown lobster in the one pot meal instead of fish. Fish is the only healthy seafood because its natural, and not filled to overflowing with sea garbage. I'm so hellbent on thinking I'm right, because the only time I've ever felt like shitting myself before was when my parents took me to a family banquet affair. Oh golly the buffet table was just crawling with lobster. I didn't know any better and I ate it. Why the men and women's washrooms were packed with people throwing up and shitting all over the place before the night was done. It was straight out of a horror movie. Ha!

Fam: ha!

Mo: Well Folks our time is almost up! But I want you all to pray extra hard against Che Guevara tonight. I'm thinking if that punk continues to cause trouble here we may have to flee yet again. Run out to the highways and byways where we can be safe and free. I feel bad for the Mexican hookers. Those poor girls feel like they have no choice, they sell their bodies and for what in return? Emptiness. Not like our own girls who do it with the knowledge that they are saving the poor lonely souls of the businessmen they fuck, winning the world through prostitution! Hallelujah! The stars on some of our girls crowns will be infinite. Amen?

Fam: PTL! Amen!

Mo: I just hope that little Pablito understood the message I was trying to get across. I hope too that he stops cheating on his wife with the little Mexican hookers, Lord knows they probably have every STD known to man. Mexican prostitution rings are almost worse than organized crime. They're just despicable! So Lord save they're souls! PTL! HAbababa dadidooo fabihabeeybeh hahahdahabrabha !!!

Fam: A sudden outburst of tongues, an outpouring of the Spirit!

Maria: A heavenly outburst, an outpouring of nonsensical seeds through our King!

Mo: It's early to bed and early to rise for you folks! Are you a Mexican prostitute? If so pray to Jesus and get your filthy cunt saved, He forgives all who come to him, hell he forgave Mary Magdalene and she was a raging whore. Are you eating Seafood? Do you work in a Chinese restaurant? Stop now! Or God will hold you responsible for disobeying his health laws and for causing the food-poisoning of thousands through your Asian restaurants of death. THOU SHALT NOT EAT SEA-FOOD, (Unless it's natural fish) AMEN?